Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
