my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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