The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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