Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
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