you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
