she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
