HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
