The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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