summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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