Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
