I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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