Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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