woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
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