Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
