then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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