Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
