I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
