Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
