Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
