if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
