im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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