I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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