I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
