She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wish you could order shots online.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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