He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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