You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
