did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
