I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
this boner is exhausting
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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