cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
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We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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