so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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