Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
