We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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