i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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