Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
