A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
