Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
