ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize