He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Houston, we have a squirter
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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