I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
