you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Holy sore nipples Batman
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
