Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
