Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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