can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize