New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
