just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
