goodnight i made you a song goodbye
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
