And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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