And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so explain again why im purple
no
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
