No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize