Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize