I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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