So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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