The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
