Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize