And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
