i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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