Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
