I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
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