I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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