peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
