I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
