ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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